Ok, I will admit it. I am one of those people that long before she was a Mummy herself, was convinced that no child of hers would ever be one of those feral beastly minors. You know, one of those children you see out at the shopping centres, throwing tantrums on the ground and generally running amok. Yes, those same devil spawn that have adults trailing after them that you stare at with contrasting thoughts running through your head, like 'oh, the poor thing, what a horrible little brat that child is' and 'jeez, you'd think they could keep that little thing under control; the kid only looks like she's 3'. *sigh* On Thursday night, karma came and bit me in the bum BIGTIME.
Miss M 2.5 is one of those children that's bright, bubbly, outgoing, smart, polite, but at the same time she can be stubborn, naughty and downright obstinate. Yes, a little too spoiled for her own good, but as one of only 2 grandchildren on one side, and one of 3 on the other; it would be hard for her not to be. That's not to say she doesn't have boundries, nor punishments befitting the 'crime' when she fails to take heed to Daddy's & Mummy's requests/warnings.
The old adage of 'terrible 2s' started much earlier for us. In fact, I recall my shock when she was about 20 months old and telling her to behave, only to have her stick out her hand towards me with great force and say 'STOP MUMMY', all police-woman at broken traffic lights like.
So fast-forward to Thursday night. She hasn't been well so Daddy worked from home and Mummy went to work. We meet up at our local shopping centre to grab a few items and have something to eat. I tell Daddy to go off and relax after Miss M duty all day, so he promptly disappears off to a coffee haunt & Miss M and I remain in a shop to pick out the Father's day gift for him. So we pick a gift off the shelf that he's been eyeing off for a few weeks and I take it to the counter to pay. Miss M disappears in between shelves and promptly gets told not to touch. She re-appears with one of those animal shaped body gel treats in her hand. A purple whale. The scenario descends as per this:
Bec: 'Miss M, please put that down now'
Miss M: 'No' *runs away giggling, thinking it's hilarious*
B: *looks at man serving her at counter* I'm sorry, she's just a bit disobedient tonight. M come back here now'
Man: 'Not to worry, she's not doing any harm'
B: 'Well it could be worse, at least she hasn't stolen anything'
FAMOUS LAST WORDS....
B: 'M come back here now' *Miss M appears in front of me with offending item*
M: 'No Mummy, it's MINE. STOP!'
B: *make grab for child who does the bolt straight out the front of store. Promptly drop bags on counter and run for Miss M who is halfway down the coridoor and headed for pet shop*
M: 'NO MUMMY MINE' *struggles ensue with Miss M attempting to wriggle free*
B: 'We PAY before we take things. We do not steal, it's naughty. You're going back in the store, giving it back and saying sorry' *we return to store. Mum bright red with humiliation. Child looking defiant and teary*
B: 'What do you say to the man M?'
M: *says nothing, just meekly hands over item and refuses to make eye-contact with salesman*
Man: 'that's ok' *note - he is struggling not to burst out laughing. He thinks the entire situation is hilarious. I however, do not*
*end scene as I grab my bags, apologise again and take Miss M straight to coffee shop where Daddy is. She gets put straight into high chair which frankly she is just a bit too big for*
J: 'What did she do?' *pauses long enough to look up from laptop computer*
B: 'Oh nothing much, just stole a bath gel and did a bolt'
M: *still crying, suspect it's over 'her' bath gel*
J: 'That's very naughty M, we don't steal' *looks at Miss M with a stern expression*
*** Note, disapproving glare from Daddy is 100 xs worse than anything Mummy can dish out!
M: *looks at Mummy. Reaches out and grabs Daddy's coffee cup and as I yell and reach for it, she swings it high in the air and redecorates the corner of the coffee shop.
I could literally melt into a puddle of embarassment due to my obvious parental failure. Daddy has since marched off with Maddy and is lecturing her substancially. Possibly with threats that she's going to sit in the car now.
B: *wipes up the coffee spills she can reach and sits back down at table in cafe with a bright red face. I look up and notice a Mum & Dad at the next table with 2 boys - one about 18 months, the other about 4. They're being perfect angels of course. TYPICAL. Mum and Dad are exchanging glances and attempt to 'discreetly' stare back to get the latest episode of 'Public Meldown and Parental Failure 1.0.1'. The Dad wanders off with two boys to play area.
Miss M & Daddy still have not returned. I assume he's not trying to trade her in for a puppy of some sort. The thought is somewhat tempting in my current state however. The little pugs I saw there were cute.
B: *notices Mum across the way staring again. I clear throat, 'At least your two are very well behaved*
Other Mum: *just smiles somewhat sympathetically with a hint of smugness. Guess she doesn't know what to say to failure Mum*
B: 'Don't suppose you want to swap children?'
OM: *looks horrified at my suggestion* 'Uh, no thanks. I think I'll keep mine thanks' *hurries off to find her husband/partner & sons. Maybe she thinks I'll just help myself to one of hers*
So yes, the humiliation has begun. I wonder what else my beautiful but frustrating 2 year old has in store for us?
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3 comments:
It's humiliating isn't it? ut the worst is when other mums don't sympathise. They must be sub-human.
I can't believe the other mum wasn't more understanding. How does she manage with two? Freak. Mine have been running amok at the shops recently with wild chasing, wrestling and CHOKING EACH OTHER games. Heaps of happy screaming. EVERYONE in town knows when we're out shopping.
Meh, that's because there are tons of snobs down here. *L* Obviously she thought Miss M was some freak of nature, unruly urchin.
Meanwhile tonight Miss M informed check-out operator at Coles that we 'has ta pays first' when she handed her lollipop over when we reached the checkout. It's her mantra now.
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