Shop-lifting, cafe re-decorating toddler fun

Ok, I will admit it. I am one of those people that long before she was a Mummy herself, was convinced that no child of hers would ever be one of those feral beastly minors. You know, one of those children you see out at the shopping centres, throwing tantrums on the ground and generally running amok. Yes, those same devil spawn that have adults trailing after them that you stare at with contrasting thoughts running through your head, like 'oh, the poor thing, what a horrible little brat that child is' and 'jeez, you'd think they could keep that little thing under control; the kid only looks like she's 3'. *sigh* On Thursday night, karma came and bit me in the bum BIGTIME.

Miss M 2.5 is one of those children that's bright, bubbly, outgoing, smart, polite, but at the same time she can be stubborn, naughty and downright obstinate. Yes, a little too spoiled for her own good, but as one of only 2 grandchildren on one side, and one of 3 on the other; it would be hard for her not to be. That's not to say she doesn't have boundries, nor punishments befitting the 'crime' when she fails to take heed to Daddy's & Mummy's requests/warnings.

The old adage of 'terrible 2s' started much earlier for us. In fact, I recall my shock when she was about 20 months old and telling her to behave, only to have her stick out her hand towards me with great force and say 'STOP MUMMY', all police-woman at broken traffic lights like.

So fast-forward to Thursday night. She hasn't been well so Daddy worked from home and Mummy went to work. We meet up at our local shopping centre to grab a few items and have something to eat. I tell Daddy to go off and relax after Miss M duty all day, so he promptly disappears off to a coffee haunt & Miss M and I remain in a shop to pick out the Father's day gift for him. So we pick a gift off the shelf that he's been eyeing off for a few weeks and I take it to the counter to pay. Miss M disappears in between shelves and promptly gets told not to touch. She re-appears with one of those animal shaped body gel treats in her hand. A purple whale. The scenario descends as per this:

Bec: 'Miss M, please put that down now'
Miss M: 'No' *runs away giggling, thinking it's hilarious*
B: *looks at man serving her at counter* I'm sorry, she's just a bit disobedient tonight. M come back here now'
Man: 'Not to worry, she's not doing any harm'
B: 'Well it could be worse, at least she hasn't stolen anything'

FAMOUS LAST WORDS....

B: 'M come back here now' *Miss M appears in front of me with offending item*
M: 'No Mummy, it's MINE. STOP!'
B: *make grab for child who does the bolt straight out the front of store. Promptly drop bags on counter and run for Miss M who is halfway down the coridoor and headed for pet shop*
M: 'NO MUMMY MINE' *struggles ensue with Miss M attempting to wriggle free*
B: 'We PAY before we take things. We do not steal, it's naughty. You're going back in the store, giving it back and saying sorry' *we return to store. Mum bright red with humiliation. Child looking defiant and teary*
B: 'What do you say to the man M?'
M: *says nothing, just meekly hands over item and refuses to make eye-contact with salesman*
Man: 'that's ok' *note - he is struggling not to burst out laughing. He thinks the entire situation is hilarious. I however, do not*

*end scene as I grab my bags, apologise again and take Miss M straight to coffee shop where Daddy is. She gets put straight into high chair which frankly she is just a bit too big for*

J: 'What did she do?' *pauses long enough to look up from laptop computer*
B: 'Oh nothing much, just stole a bath gel and did a bolt'
M: *still crying, suspect it's over 'her' bath gel*
J: 'That's very naughty M, we don't steal' *looks at Miss M with a stern expression*
*** Note, disapproving glare from Daddy is 100 xs worse than anything Mummy can dish out!
M: *looks at Mummy. Reaches out and grabs Daddy's coffee cup and as I yell and reach for it, she swings it high in the air and redecorates the corner of the coffee shop.

I could literally melt into a puddle of embarassment due to my obvious parental failure. Daddy has since marched off with Maddy and is lecturing her substancially. Possibly with threats that she's going to sit in the car now.

B: *wipes up the coffee spills she can reach and sits back down at table in cafe with a bright red face. I look up and notice a Mum & Dad at the next table with 2 boys - one about 18 months, the other about 4. They're being perfect angels of course. TYPICAL. Mum and Dad are exchanging glances and attempt to 'discreetly' stare back to get the latest episode of 'Public Meldown and Parental Failure 1.0.1'. The Dad wanders off with two boys to play area.

Miss M & Daddy still have not returned. I assume he's not trying to trade her in for a puppy of some sort. The thought is somewhat tempting in my current state however. The little pugs I saw there were cute.

B: *notices Mum across the way staring again. I clear throat, 'At least your two are very well behaved*

Other Mum: *just smiles somewhat sympathetically with a hint of smugness. Guess she doesn't know what to say to failure Mum*

B: 'Don't suppose you want to swap children?'

OM: *looks horrified at my suggestion* 'Uh, no thanks. I think I'll keep mine thanks' *hurries off to find her husband/partner & sons. Maybe she thinks I'll just help myself to one of hers*


So yes, the humiliation has begun. I wonder what else my beautiful but frustrating 2 year old has in store for us?

BBB

BBB = Banana Bread Bandit.

That's me. I'm COMPLETELY addicted to banana bread at the moment, and ironically so are half of my teammates at work. At any given time of the day you'll probably find one of us at least, munching on the scrumptious flavour.

The good news is that banana bread is now quite popular, so it's pretty readily available (including the cafe on the ground floor of our work building). The bad news is that it's now quite popular and if you don't buy a piece first thing in the morning there is every chance you'll have to go cold turkey.

The turkey was me today. I wandered downstairs at about 11am, knowing I wasn't going to make it through to lunch without my stomach beginning to snack on itself. Stood in line and stared out through the front doors at the rain outside. Reached the counter and smiled at the lady at the same time I noticed the usual banana bread basket was missing.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Looked hopefully at the lady behind the counter, thinking just maybe they were filling up said basket out the back. No such luck. All run out. Walked away with vegemite toast (sans the vegemite which the girl forgot to put on the toast), kicking myself that I underestimated the banana bread addiction sweeping North Sydney.

Note: My kitchen counter currently displays all of the ingredients I need to bake my OWN banana bread tomorrow. :) Oh and I need not share because it doesn't seem to tempt either John or Miss M 2.5.

Completely random photo...


Maddy shows her love to the Aussie Olympic Gymnastics Team

Who needs a bed?

Wow...2nd post for the night! :)

About to go to bed and thought it would be very apt to share the following photo of Miss M last week when I came in after her afternoon nap. She'd been asleep for four hours; it's likely much of that was in this position...

A visit back home to Brissie :)

Due to the escalating cost of flights and the fact that all airlines now deem it necessary to charge full fare for a 2.5 year old girl who'd rather sit on my lap anyway; I ventured home to Brisbane this past weekend whilst the dear husband & Miss M stayed in Sydney.

After informing my dear friend of close to 18 years, Zoe; that it was incredibly inconsiderate of her to organise her dream wedding less than 4 weeks after we relocated *LOL*, I was honoured to be invited to the beautiful day. Brisbane really put on the weather, with a beautiful bright sunny day supplied for us as I arrived about 20 minutes late after 9am on Saturday morning.

For the most part, it was a very smooth journey although I'd be lying if I didn't admit how nervous I was to actually be flying Qantas after the past 14 days. My fears were not helped by the fact the tower kept us in a circling pattern for 15 minutes over the Gold Coast as traffic was too busy at Brisbane Airport. At the same time, I did get over my nail biting for long enough to take these photos out the window of the plane whilst we circled.




The wedding itself was absolutely beautiful. I've known Zoe a long time as mentioned above, we first met in Year 8 in high school way back in 1991. The wedding and subsequent reception were elegant, classy and emotional without a hint of gaude or overkill.




I know, the photo is pretty blurry and sadly you can't see her gorgeous wedding gown clearly - which is a pity because she was every bit classic hollywood elegance. I'm not ashamed to admit I was crying openly at several points through the ceremony and again in the reception during the speeches. The love Zoe and Dave share for each other was so evident and there is something about an emotional groom trying to put into words his love for his bride that turns me into a human waterfall.

Anyway, we had a ball - what woman doesn't love an opportunity to go to a 'formal' wedding...hence the below:



Still suffering from this stupid cough and after a late night (ok, so it was 1am when we got back to my friend's place. That IS late for those of us with children and no longer spring-chickens), we didn't crawl out of bed on Sunday until 9:30am. Good old vegemite toast and a hot milo prepared us for the rest of the day - the perfect pick-me-up meal after a big night. I crawled back on my flight in the afternoon and came back home into the loving arms of the husband & the daughter. NOTHING is better than that feeling.

I'm saddened I couldn't visit more people while I was back home - I miss everyone and it's only been a month. If everything goes smoothly, hopefully we'll be able to make it back (all of us) later in the year.